Funny this came up today.
I got a call from my husband earlier saying his mom was pissed at everyone because she feels that everyone uses her just for her cooking and not her company. That's not true on my end because I don't even eat most of what she cooks because it's laced with meat.
I'm the type of person who doesn't like to be ON TOP of people. I like to give people breathing room. I know I hate getting a million calls when I've gotten home from work and all I want to do is relax, unwind, catch up on whatever it is I need to catch up on and go to sleep.
So I don't call everyone every week, hell I don't call people every MONTH. And maybe that's a flaw but I'm trying to be considerate. I tend to email or text because it give people a chance to respond when they have a chance, I assume everyone is just as busy as I am.
Also, since I'm not telepathic (though I may really want to be) I can't guess when IS a good time to call. Sorry.
I actually IM'd my MIL just last week, at like 11PM or so, just to catch up and because she happened to be online. I LIKE talking to her. She's insightful and witty and GETS me. I'm very lucky.
This also comes along with me trying to plan a family reunion with my fathers family. It too has been unsuccessful. They've never been close, live in all different parts and my 2 cousins are over 10 years older than me. I think they only met me when I was a baby, and then once at my grandfathers funeral. They all seem nice, I wish they would WANT a relationship. But as it happens, it doesn't seem like they do. Maybe this is God's way of telling me that my plate is full enough and I shouldn't be chasing shadows.
Finally, who I really should forgive is my stepmother.
I shouldn't be mad that she's crazy.
It's just WHO SHE IS.
It's not her fault that she can't see herself the way EVERYONE else does.
The last interaction I had with her was during my trip to Florida.
It was high tension for everyone, and the second I stepped off the plane my brother was complaining about how she was driving her crazy.
It was nice to know that after all these years of thinking I was the crazy one, I was NOT. And everything that happened to me, is now happening to him.
It was not appreciated that she tried to make light of a situation that I had literally fallen into on the cusp.
It was nice to have my brother to lean on, and to bend my fathers' ear.
I don't think she realizes that she misrepresents herself, alienates herself and in turn all of us. Until she realizes that she's the one with the problem, I should be thanking her for staying out of my life. Although I've always had the feeling that she never really liked me.
She's actually quite manipulative, though.
So Pam I forgive you, and I thank you for continuing your crazy antics to other people so I know that it's not ME. A list of people who whole heartedly agree with me, can be requested if you ever find this post. It's at least 15 people deep.
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