Are you there God, it's me...

I don't usually talk about God, or spirituality, or religion with anyone because it can get too controversial and every one's opinions are different. I believe that there is one God , whatever you may call him or her, who watches over us.

This was evident to me as I reflect over me last week.

I received a call on Wednesday as I was driving to class, after just returning from my vacation, from my stepmother.

(Let me preface this story by saying, while I was on vacation I had a nagging feeling about my grandmother. Call it premonition, or whatever but I was thinking about her and for a few weeks before. But, as happens with all of us we get so bogged down with LIFE we sometimes let things slip. So, anyway...)

My stepmother called from Florida, where my grandmother lived, to tell me that my grandmother had taken a turn for the worse and they didn't expect her to live through the weekend.

I stopped thinking, I just reacted.
I called my job, even though it was after hours, and blessedly everyone was still there.
I got home and couldn't sit still; well me and my mind.
I took Odie for a walk at a local park, where we walked and played with other dogs.
I was hoping to find some clarity about what to do, and sitting home would not have been healthy for me in that moment.
I laughed at the joy of these little creatures and found a little spot of peace and quiet back in my mind. So I drove home and sat in front of the computer to find a flight.

There were many flights, but very few times. Anyone who flies frequently, you know it's not like the train, there's not another coming or going every hour.
There were actually 2 times; 11am Thursday or 8:30pm Friday with a 5 hour delay and a layover.
I had told my boss that I was probably going to come in on Thursday, but I never imagined I would be able to get a flight out on Thursday. Looking at the times, I chose the 1st because I didn't want to wait that long to get to my grandmother; I don't like layovers; I didn't want to inconvenience the people picking me up.

I arrived at the airport, and while waiting for my flight I found a book I had been searching for, Eat, Pray, Love

I boarded the flight.
It was not full; in fact I had a seat between me and the person sitting next to me.
Like God KNEW I needed my space at that moment to grieve a little, to sleep, and to think.

I read some of the book, and it gave me a little peace as well. Regarding God and prayer...it was where my head was in that moment.

I arrived in Florida, and was picked up. We went to the hospice where I was able to hold my grandmothers hand, stroke her hair, tell her I love her, tell her to say Hi to grandpa for me, and that it was all alright.
We were there for an hour before I couldn't stay any longer. It was heartbreaking to see this woman who used to call me sweetheart, just barely breathing and non responsive.

My family met up with everyone who had come down for their mother, grandmother, mother-in-law, to have dinner. We lingered over dinner, talked about some of what had been going on, tried to keep an upbeat conversation, and continued out into the parking lot.
While we were getting ready to say our goodbyes, my uncle received the call.
She had passed away a few minutes ago.
We were all together in that moment, like she knew...and could finally let go.

It all happened so quickly, from the moment I arrived but everything leading up to that point was like it had been plotted out perfectly on a map of destiny. If it had been any other point in time, it would have been difficult for me to tear away from my life. If I had waited a day, if we hadn't decided to get together for dinner at the time we did...

So, we laid to rest my grandmother on August 7th, 2010; almost 10 years after her husband, and only a few months shy of 95.

But after all the hours of crying I had done prior to her death, I did not cry as we put her to rest. I had a calm awakening, that we were all here with her, and now she could also be with us. Just as she always wanted to be.

So thank you God, for allowing me to have a calm and peaceful goodbye from my loving grandmother, Margaret Francis LaPonte.