December YAY!

December is finally upon us, and I couldn't be more grateful. November SUCKED, it also proved what a complete blonde I am, (though in truth I am brunette, blonde runs in my family and therefore in my veins...apparently).
Just to preface my "blonde" moments here are a few doozies that have caused my husband to name me his "Jessica Simpson".
We were in the car and talking about oh so important topics, like um well, Jessica Simspon. I was talking about the "Chicken of the Sea" debacle.
"I can't get over it, how do you confuse Chicken of the Sea to chicken? It smells like fish. Gawd! she's so dumb, and why does she buy that crap anyway, I like STARBURST much better"
Yea, Nick laughed so hard soda came out of his nose.
There are other examples but you get the point, I am typically getting lost, confusing things, forgetting things or mispronouncing things...

This month though, I kept getting hit with one thing after another. First I drowned my camera and relatively new lens in 48 ounces of water. That's because I put my camera in my tote bag with my sterilite refillable jug, (dooooh!). 200.00 bucks later, all is well again.

Then, I lost my phone. All I can think of is, shit, SHIT! Where did I leave it, where did I drop it. What if someone found it and is randomly calling all my friends. They'll all hate me because they'll think I gave out their numbers and then I'll have to 'fess up to what a moron I am. What kind of person can't find their phone when she KNOWS she put it in her bag. EFF!
So I get home and dread telling my husband because he'll have one of 2 reactions. Laugh at me, or mock what a dumb move I made. Probably a combination of both.
I look everywhere, the car, the house every conceivable pocket...no phone. I dash to the school early to see if perhaps I left it in the classroom, no phone. EFFFFF!
I call the hubs to ask him what he thinks I should do, he nicely offers to go to Verizon and get me a new phone. YAY! ok so not too bad...at least I'll have a phone.
I get to my office and log onto eBay, because I know some evil criminal has taken my phone and put it on there! I just know it! I find it, OMG! It's being sold by the person a few miles from me! HOLY SHIZ!! THAT'S IT! It even has the same ding I have in mine! How dare this person find my phone and not even attempt to return it! So I email him...no response. I email again...no response. So I contact eBay about my stolen property, that'll show this jerk!
(I swear the blonde moment is coming)
So he gets me the newest model of my old phone, and all is well, again...for now.
I get up Monday morning and realize I never plugged my phone into the charger, hmm. Where is it then? I start scouring my apartment looking for it and coming up empty.
I sneak out of the house and leave for work without telling my husband because I'm afraid he'll kill me, ( or mock me mercilessly). I search my car, I search my purse I check every coat pocket. No phone, EFFFFFF!
I call my husband who is still at home and tell him the news. He can't believe I've done it again, and in the same month! He tells me he'll check his car and look around to see if he can find it. He calls me on his way to work to tell me he came up empty too.
What is WRONG with me! God apparently doesn't want me to call people.
I get home and start searching again. I try calling it but it's probably dead by now so that's pretty useless. I figure let me recheck my car.
I go out to the car and start digging around under the seats and pulling out all this crap, (I don't know how or when 5 empty water bottles got under my seat) and then I find it! WOOPIE!! I look at the phone and realize, it's my old phone?!! WTF? I know I looked under here! Breathing a sigh of relief that no crazed stalker has been calling my friends and family I go back inside to search my house for the 3rd time. Still no luck. I call my husband to tell him the good news. I found my old phone! WOO!
Nick gets home and we're talking about how I looked everywhere possible and how at least I have my old phone. Then he turns to me and says, "How hard did you look?", me, "Really hard, like everywhere. I even pulled all the clothes out of the hamper to see if it fell in when I put clothes in there yesterday.", him, "Really? Did you look in this basket right here? Next to the couch?" And he pulls it out...
Now I have two phones, and that guy on eBay? His account was shut down pending further investigation.
December resets everything that I did wrong, yes?