Home Stretch? Yea, right

So we have been looking for houses for over a year.  Between being outbid, or just not loving what was in our price range, or hating realtors and having to find new ones...it's been an uphill battle.
We finally found the house.  
It was a short sale and everyone told us that it would take awhile, to be patient. 
Um, that's an understatement!
We placed the bid in JULY, we finally got approved in November...yes 4 months just to get the bank who owns the house to approve our bid.  
YAY!  

But that's not the hard part...nono.  
The hard part is fixing up the house to qualify for the mortgage, because the owner doesn't have to do diddly squat.  The hard part is getting the freaking mortgage so we can BUY the house.  

My husband, dad and grandpa all pitched in and knocked out the list we were given by our realtor in a weekend.  It then had to go through our banks inspection.
It passed!  WOO!
But now the bank that owns the house needs to do ANOTHER inspection of the property...you know because "we" took too long to get the mortgage...um what?  How could we get a mortgage prior to having approval for the sale!

In between all this we are dealing with the mortgage company trying to get it approved.  We had a preapproval, but the paperwork to get it approved is exponential.  Bank statements, letters to back things up, paystubs, documentation to prove what was on the bank statements was true...it's just EXHAUSTING.

I feel like Jonah Hill from 40 Year Old Virgin.  You know that scene where he's in the eBay store and JUST wants to buy the shoes.
Pretty much, yea that's how I feel.  I just want you give you some money and get this house...why are you making it so difficult?
So yea, right now we're at a standstill, I'm just waiting and waiting to see what else the bank needs from us to prove we make money...because the 50 pay stubs we provided and 7 months of bank statements wasn't quite enough.

Here is the clip if you're not familiar:
(Clip from 40 Year Old Virgin)
And here is the quote if you don't feel like watching the clip:

Ebay store customer: So, I guess I'll just give you some money, and you can give me these shoes and-

Trish: You know, I know it seems so strange--

Ebay store customer: Yes. I'd just rather buy them from you straight up.

Trish: Yeah, I know. I wish it could be that easy, but--

Ebay store customer: I wish, too, but you're making it extremely difficult for me. I'm just trying to get these shoes back to my house so I can wear them.